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Therapy at Chi.L.D. for Children at Shelters for Battered Moms
The Need:
In Israel, as of today, there are 13 shelters for battered women. Women accessing services are sent to a shelter far from home, to ensure their safety. They are accompanied by their children, ages 0 14 years. Women accessing these shelters are often |
"Children are often described as the 'forgotten victims' of Domestic Abuse. Children are affected not only by directly witnessing abuse, but also by living in an environment where their mother is being repeatedly victimized. Children in a home where the mother is being abused are also at greater risk of being abused themselves."
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uneducated, poor and have no supporting family or community. Their children are at-risk for developing problems in many spheres psychological, behavioral and social. The cycle of abuse in violent families leads to a situation of learned helplessness making emotional assistance a must. These children lose trust in the ability of adults to protect and provide for them, which in turn impacts on their emotional stability. Statistics show that they are at-risk for becoming abusive adults later on in life. Paradoxically, abused children often choose abusive partners as their spouses.
On arrival at the Shelter, women and children can be very unsettled, frightened and traumatized. It is crucial to provide them with a feeling of safety and security. In order to protect women fleeing their homes, the address of the shelter is kept secret and they do not change their official addresses in their identity documents. As an added precaution the authorities send women to a city far from her home-town. While this fosters a feeling of safety for the mothers, their children who are not officially Haifa residents lose some of their rights, and in fact often fall between the cracks. Although they do attend local schools, they are not entitled to attend Municipal learning centers for didactic and therapeutic help in the after school hours. Teachers view them as temporary pupils, and therefore not much effort is spent on help with school work. They also lose out on their studies when moving from city to city - a time of change and uncertainty for them.
Problems with children at the shelter manifest themselves in different ways, to name a few - violence, lack of appropriate borders, bedwetting, hoarding, stealing, lack of faith in others and that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Problems to be addressed include: learning disabilities, emotional problems, developmental delays, and attention deficit (ADD). Often, staff at the shelter does not know if the learning problems are rooted in actual learning difficulties or a result of emotional problems and/or trauma following extended periods of abuse making professional assessments a must. Mothers, involved in their own problems, are not always emotionally available to attend to their children and give them the required attention. While shelters mainly provide care for mothers, children lose out when authorities forget the importance of attending to all their needs be these emotional or educational. Today there is growing awareness to care for the children of abused mothers, to ensure that they do not become "forgotten victims".
Project Description:
In Haifa there are two shelters for battered women: "The Haifa Women's Crisis Shelter" and "Women for Women Haifa Shelter for Battered Women".
Following meetings at the Haifa Center with staff members from both shelters, who were most impressed by the range of services offered by professional staff and by the culturally sensitive approach used, it was decided to prepare a program to treat children, ages 3 14 years, staying with their mothers at shelters for battered women.
This project aims to build a co-operative venture between three organizations: The Haifa Center for Chi.L.D., "The Haifa Women's Crisis Shelter", and "Women for Women Haifa Shelter for Battered Women".
It should be noted that it is important for each mother to leave the confines of the shelter for a short time, to take responsibility for her child and to have opportunities for mother and child to spend quality time together. This is viewed as a way to empower mothers and to build positive relationships with children, while exposing them to life beyond the protective walls of the shelter.
The project includes professional assessments and intensive didactic treatments in math, reading, learning skills, preparation for Grade 1, and social skills. Families spend limited time in shelters before moving on. The assessments help staff members who work with children at their next stop in life, providing valuable information and ensuring continuity in the work. Both mothers and children enjoy the warm and supportive atmosphere at the Haifa Center. |
